This past week, we had the privilege of learning from Jeff Veley, an international resilience educator, who shared his research-based Peace Sign Approach to Squabbles. His message was simple yet powerful: “Our responsibility is to teach students to solve their own problems.”

His visit kicks off our motto of “bruh. BE NICE.” We started our time with student presentations, an awesome family night, and capped it off with staff professional development. Perhaps the most rewarding part was seeing over 200 people hanging out with us Thursday evening at the Intermediate School. Parents were congregating, students were running around the playground. You could hear laughter and chatter all over. The Tiger Family sharing 45 minutes of care free community prior to Mr. Veley’s presentation. Thank you to all who attended!

At Cleveland Schools, we believe that equipping students with the tools to handle conflict, regulate emotions, and respond with compassion is just as important as their academic learning. Jeff’s approach provides us with practical strategies and a mindset shift—teaching students to see social challenges not as barriers, but as opportunities to build strength, empathy, and resilience. This aligns with our mission to prepare students for success in school and in life.

The 4 Types of Social Squabbles (Meanness Matrix):
Verbal Direct – Did they say something to you?
Physical Direct – Did someone do something to you?
Verbal Indirect – Did someone say something about you?
Physical Indirect – Did someone leave you out?

Quick intervention questions for adults to ask students when they’ve identified the type of social squabble.
Verbal Direct → Did you believe what they said?
Physical Direct → Are you hurt?
Verbal Indirect → Was what they said true?
Physical Indirect → What else can you do if they left you out?

Why Students Engage in Meanness:
Joking
Bothering
Hurting
Criticizing

How our students can respond then they are on the receiving end of each type of ‘meanness’.
Joking → Learn to take/make a joke about yourself.
Bothering → Stay calm, respond kindly (“Bruh, be nice”).
Hurting → Stay calm, show compassion or apologize.
Criticizing → Stay calm, respond kindly (“Bruh, be nice”).

Building Emotional Resilience
How quickly a child is able to process their feelings that rise up in response to meanness or social squabbles determines their emotional resilience. Our goal should be to equip all of our students to be emotionally resilient. Children naturally feel Mad → Sad → Meh → Glad during conflicts. Adults can guide them through these stages with questions like:

“How could this be worse?” (shrinks the problem, moving from mad → sad)
“Will this still matter in 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days, 1 year?” (perspective, sad → meh)
“How could this turn out good for you?” (growth mindset, meh → glad)

As a school, we are committed to reinforcing these practices in classrooms, hallways, and activities—helping students build lifelong resilience. By using a common language and set of tools, we can building emotional resilience and create students who begin to solve their own problems.

Thank you for partnering with us in this important work. Together, we can build a culture where students feel empowered to handle challenges with strength and kindness.